Most religions have a ladder of ascension:
The Hindu has the concept of rebirth until one becomes part of the paramatma.
The Muslim has the stages of going from non believer to finding a place by God's side at judgment day. The Christian has a similar schema.
The remaining religions, I am sure have something similar.
Let me propose a new religion. Wait, first let's name it. Naming is an integral part of setting up religions. The name has to be logical. Let us call this new religion Pissenpush. Why such a strange name, you may ask. See, this new religion is based on pissing and pushing away maximum number of people belonging to other religions. So, the better you are getting someone's temples hot, or greater your skill of pushing peoples' patience over the hill, the higher you get to the God, similarly named, Pissenpushamma.
Takers anybody? Anybody? Come one... don't be shy, come forward, sign up for a pie of bliss. Speaking of pie, this religion does not have a heaven, it has the concept of pies. Higher one gets in its echelon, bigger the pie. Pissenpushamma has an entire pie to itself. The God is asexual, therefore the use of the word, "it". Let's go for the show of hands once more people. Tick tick one tick tick two tick tick three...and we have the first member of our religion!!! Let me see...ah...Mr. Rushdie welcome to our sanctified brother/sister hood. Hello!!! Another member! Mr. Hussain... ah... your pie is much bigger than Mr. Rushdie's. Btw...don't you think "Rushdie" is an intriguing name....he's got the speedway to the entire pie spelt out in his name. A third? Not a single another one... any sisters out there ready to kick up a point? Yes yes...raise your hands a little higher... no no... you are not scratching your head with, you are raising it. There is no shame...Ms. Taslima... there we go... the first trio. Now we have three brand ambassadors .... this is where we employ them in our worldwide recruitment policy. The way it works it the quickest and most powerful method used by any religion as of yet--- yes, we throw them at your face via the television.
See how simple it is to set up a religion. Now coming to the purpose...Errm... to piss you off?
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3 comments:
i have no idea what the f..u were thinking wlike you were writing this...i believe you can be next AKBAR..but sure you don't have that look
Same here...I have no idea what you were thinking either- whatever that maybe, the "u" in "f..u" is probably misplaced. Cheers mate.
dada, have you not blogged in a while, or do you have a new blog now?
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